House drama is like the gift that keeps giving haha. The Friday before Ernlees passed she mentioned a meeting with the commissioner and landlord. At the time she told me I just agreed and figured she would contact me for a follow up later that week. It was the next night she passed so I never got a follow up and I wasn’t really sure when or with who this landlord meeting was to take place. The next several days felt all very blur ish. I went through the motions but was so emotionally detached to everything. John told me at school he was going to come visit me, visiting with people who are bereaved is what Liberians do, so I agreed and that night I waited for him to arrive.
When he came we had pleasant conversation and then Voldemort came to the house. Now you know shit is bad when Voldermort comes by, I mean he never comes by to give me presents for being a ray of sunshine or to inform me of work that he wants to do, he only comes by to bitch about things. He starts with acknowledging that I am upset by my friend’s death and I say yes that I was very upset, then he starts talking about all the hardship he is going through with the place. They talk for a while, I ignore it because it’s the same shit now for 2 weeks so to come assert yourself at the house to bring it all up again when people are working on it seemed stupid to me. He starts talking about Ernlee and how she was working on the issue, then has the audacity to say, thank god the virus is gone. I heard it, but I swear when he first said it I had an out of body experience, like no way he just said that. Then he says it again and again, repeating himself, laughing. I mean I get that its Voldermort, but shit, who the hell says shit like that. You came, acknowledged I was upset, then STILL says something like that. After the 2nd or 3rd time he said it I final spoke and told him if he kept talking like that we were going to have an issue. My visitor also made a comment on the lines that it wasn’t okay and that he was going to make an issue between Voldermort and I if he kept talking like that. I was upset and livid after that. Never in my life have I been disrespect like that before. Never have I thought that about someone, not even my deepest enemy, would I think something / speak something so wicked. Then to have someone say it to you and laugh was shocking. I mean utterly shocking. I was shaking afterwards/crying (once I was inside alone) at the mere thought of all of this. It totally ruined my day, I know it shouldn’t have, that words said by someone like that you should be able to roll off you, but I mean how dare anyone ever say anything like that. The next day I told my principle and said I never wanted to see him by the house again, that I wanted an apology. I knew the apology part was a stretch but it’s what I wanted.
Eventually I told PC what had happened, that Friday Sam and Gus came to Gbartala to talk with the school/ community officials (commissioner) on my position here in Gbartala. They talked about the stress I had endured with this housing situation, my position at the school, and if they were still capable of watching over my wellbeing. They then went to the commissioner’s office and told her all the troubles we have been having, including the most recent interaction with the landlord, and I’m assuming had a very similar conversation with her that they had at the school. Sam and Gus came back and said they had a very positive conversation, that she was to have a family meeting Saturday with the landlord and that following Monday the CEO, DEO, principle, landlord and commissioner would meet. Monday came, and the meeting was rescheduled to Tuesday. Tuesday came, and the meeting was rescheduled to Thursday. Thursday came, and the meeting was rescheduled to Saturday. Really makes a girl feel important, constant/ endless rescheduling ha.
Friday came, I didn’t go to school because I wanted to leave soon morning for Monrovia. Ernlee wake was Friday and the funeral service/burial was Saturday. I arrived in Monrovia, checked into Eco and spent most of the day at the PC office with other volunteers, there was a good about of volunteers who had come in for the service. The wake is when they move the body from the funeral home to the church. They typically have some sort of service and to my understanding (which was wrong) they lasted a long time and it was more of a social thing to show support. Like people would come and pay respects and sit with the family. The wake was scheduled to start at 6pm, because of the very wrong idea we had on it we decided we would leave at 6:30pm. Things in Liberia always start late and most of the wakes we knew about lasted all night. We got a car around 6:40pm and what should have been a 15 min drive took us 1.5 hours because of traffic. It was horrible, the stress of the wake, the stress of missing the wake, updates about the wake finishing, stop and go in the car, and just general sadness all balled up and stuffed into a car for a hour and a half. We got there just as the wake was ending, along with Becky, Kristi and JB. We saw the casket, gave our respects and basically left. There was a car full of volunteers behind us and they arrived just as they were locking up the church. They had missed the entire thing. No one considered the mass amount of traffic, who would have ever thought It would be that bad! Becky gave us a ride back home. I had been having some pain in my left arm, tightness in my chest, and tingly extremities on the drive to the wake but tried to ignore it, now that we were driving back home it was making itself known again. I made it known to the car that I was having mild heart palpitations, just in case I passed out or something, I didn’t want people to freak out. Becky told me I needed to call medical, I did, and Stephen told me to call when I was back at the hotel. I got to the hotel and he told me I was having an acute anxiety attack. Looking back, it was totally what it was. I clearly thought it was a heart attack ha, it manifested itself so strangely, like I’ve had one before and it never started like that. It was the car ride/stress of missing the wake that brought it on. I laid on my bed for a bit, facetimed Brian and was fine when I went to bed.
The next day I woke up early, checked out of Eco and into Royal Grand Hotel, Dad told me he would pay for me to stay at the fancy hotel. I put my stuff in my room, got coffee, and walked to the office. Peace Corps was driving everyone to the funeral together and we were to meet by 9:15am. Everyone showed up in peace corps lappa shirts, request from the family, it was cool to see everyone united like that, like a real family going to support their missing sister. We knew traffic was a bitch the previous day, so we weren’t taking any chances. Service started at 11am. We arrived by 10am, sat down and waited for service to start. Service started by walking the casket down the isle followed by all her immediate family. This was insanely emotional. The entire church erupted in sobbing. I don’t know when as Americans we were taught to hold our cries in or silently cry. I don’t ever remember being taught to do that, but we all do it. Liberians on the other hand do not. Every emotion they are feeling they allow themselves to feel 100% and let it out. Meaning there is no silent crying or silent thoughts, there is only wailing and sobbing. Its heartbreaking. Her grandmother would let out wails every once in a while, you could honestly feel her heart breaking, in turn would make me do that stupid silent crying thing we do. There was a part where her elder son started wailing and throwing himself around. Devastating. Heartbreaking. That’s honestly the only feelings you had while witnessing it. The service as a whole was beautiful. They had: greeting, hymn, refrain, scripture readings, selection from the choir, eulogy, a life sketch, tributes, commendation, minister laying hand on the coffin prayer, a prayer of thanksgiving, family prayer, then they walked her casket back down the isle and her family followed. I’ve never been to a funeral with a full choir, it was honestly really powerful, they sang to your soul, honestly that’s what it felt like, it was moving and powerful. The life sketch they did for her was great, it was amazing to hear all the organizations she helped or was a part of. She truly touched so many lives for the better and I’m proud that I got to know her for the short time I did. The tributes were very emotional. Every organization her or her husband were apart of came up and said something, most organizations would lay a wreath on the casket in respect and then would sit down. Kristi, our country director, spoke for Peace Corps, her speech was beautiful, while she gave her speech we all stood and cried. The most emotional tribute was from her twin sister via her brother in law. Her twin was told not to come to the funeral by the family, apparently in Liberia it is bad luck or something for a twin to go to their twin’s funeral. It’s the idea of seeing/going to your own funeral. Her sister’s husband came up and read the tribute her she wrote. She talked about how a piece of her was gone forever, how Ernlee didn’t need to worry about her husband / boys because she would take care of them, the entire thing was truly moving and sad. Even writing this now remembering all of it I have to do that American thing where I choke back tears a little. The funeral finished, they carried the casket back down the isle and the church erupted in crying again. After the service we had the option to go to the burial site with the family. Knowing myself, I decided it was better for me to just go back to the office. It had been an emotional day and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing the lowering of the casket. We got to the office and a bunch of the volunteers went to Golden Beach for lunch, I opted to stay back with a small group and just order in. It had been an emotional day and I need time to reset myself. After eating I went to the hotel and that’s where I stayed for the rest of the day. The Royal has a gym, so I worked out, took a bath, watched the E network, and facetimed with heather, Brian and my family.
The next day I met Ali and Madeline for breakfast. We saw Max, and he told us that he had just gotten his phone stolen that morning. We asked how, and he said that soon morning he was coming back from the PC office and two guys with a knife came up to him and told him to take his phone out of his pocket and give it to them. Shit is crazy. This is why I hate Monrovia! He didn’t have it out, it wasn’t night, yet still people had the courage to do shit like that. After breakfast I worked out in the gym again, took a shower and by 12pm I checked out. Me, Madeline, Darell, and Mariam got a car and we were off, back to site here I came.
They gave us programs for the funeral and in the program was what looks like a bookmark, on the front says in loving memory, then her picture, Ernlee Bee Barbu (Mukee), May 10, 1984- September 22, 2018. I really liked what the back reads, it reads:
Safely home
All the pain and grief is over every restless tossing passed; I am now at peace forever, safely home in Heaven at last.
I am home in Heaven, dear ones; Oh, so happy and so bright! There is perfect joy and beauty in this everlasting light.
Did you wonder I so calmly trod the valley of the shade? Oh! But Jesus’ love illumined every dark and fearful glade.
And he came in himself to meet me in the way so hard to tread; And with Jesus’ arm to lean on, Could I have one doubt or dread?
Then you must not grieve so sorely, for I love you dearly still: Try to look beyond earth’s shadows, Pray to trust our father’s will.
There is work still waiting for you, so you must not idly stand; Do it now, while life remaineth- you shall rest in Jesus’ land.
When that work is all completed, He will gently call you home; Oh, the rapture of that meeting, Oh, the joy to see you come!
When he came we had pleasant conversation and then Voldemort came to the house. Now you know shit is bad when Voldermort comes by, I mean he never comes by to give me presents for being a ray of sunshine or to inform me of work that he wants to do, he only comes by to bitch about things. He starts with acknowledging that I am upset by my friend’s death and I say yes that I was very upset, then he starts talking about all the hardship he is going through with the place. They talk for a while, I ignore it because it’s the same shit now for 2 weeks so to come assert yourself at the house to bring it all up again when people are working on it seemed stupid to me. He starts talking about Ernlee and how she was working on the issue, then has the audacity to say, thank god the virus is gone. I heard it, but I swear when he first said it I had an out of body experience, like no way he just said that. Then he says it again and again, repeating himself, laughing. I mean I get that its Voldermort, but shit, who the hell says shit like that. You came, acknowledged I was upset, then STILL says something like that. After the 2nd or 3rd time he said it I final spoke and told him if he kept talking like that we were going to have an issue. My visitor also made a comment on the lines that it wasn’t okay and that he was going to make an issue between Voldermort and I if he kept talking like that. I was upset and livid after that. Never in my life have I been disrespect like that before. Never have I thought that about someone, not even my deepest enemy, would I think something / speak something so wicked. Then to have someone say it to you and laugh was shocking. I mean utterly shocking. I was shaking afterwards/crying (once I was inside alone) at the mere thought of all of this. It totally ruined my day, I know it shouldn’t have, that words said by someone like that you should be able to roll off you, but I mean how dare anyone ever say anything like that. The next day I told my principle and said I never wanted to see him by the house again, that I wanted an apology. I knew the apology part was a stretch but it’s what I wanted.
Eventually I told PC what had happened, that Friday Sam and Gus came to Gbartala to talk with the school/ community officials (commissioner) on my position here in Gbartala. They talked about the stress I had endured with this housing situation, my position at the school, and if they were still capable of watching over my wellbeing. They then went to the commissioner’s office and told her all the troubles we have been having, including the most recent interaction with the landlord, and I’m assuming had a very similar conversation with her that they had at the school. Sam and Gus came back and said they had a very positive conversation, that she was to have a family meeting Saturday with the landlord and that following Monday the CEO, DEO, principle, landlord and commissioner would meet. Monday came, and the meeting was rescheduled to Tuesday. Tuesday came, and the meeting was rescheduled to Thursday. Thursday came, and the meeting was rescheduled to Saturday. Really makes a girl feel important, constant/ endless rescheduling ha.
Friday came, I didn’t go to school because I wanted to leave soon morning for Monrovia. Ernlee wake was Friday and the funeral service/burial was Saturday. I arrived in Monrovia, checked into Eco and spent most of the day at the PC office with other volunteers, there was a good about of volunteers who had come in for the service. The wake is when they move the body from the funeral home to the church. They typically have some sort of service and to my understanding (which was wrong) they lasted a long time and it was more of a social thing to show support. Like people would come and pay respects and sit with the family. The wake was scheduled to start at 6pm, because of the very wrong idea we had on it we decided we would leave at 6:30pm. Things in Liberia always start late and most of the wakes we knew about lasted all night. We got a car around 6:40pm and what should have been a 15 min drive took us 1.5 hours because of traffic. It was horrible, the stress of the wake, the stress of missing the wake, updates about the wake finishing, stop and go in the car, and just general sadness all balled up and stuffed into a car for a hour and a half. We got there just as the wake was ending, along with Becky, Kristi and JB. We saw the casket, gave our respects and basically left. There was a car full of volunteers behind us and they arrived just as they were locking up the church. They had missed the entire thing. No one considered the mass amount of traffic, who would have ever thought It would be that bad! Becky gave us a ride back home. I had been having some pain in my left arm, tightness in my chest, and tingly extremities on the drive to the wake but tried to ignore it, now that we were driving back home it was making itself known again. I made it known to the car that I was having mild heart palpitations, just in case I passed out or something, I didn’t want people to freak out. Becky told me I needed to call medical, I did, and Stephen told me to call when I was back at the hotel. I got to the hotel and he told me I was having an acute anxiety attack. Looking back, it was totally what it was. I clearly thought it was a heart attack ha, it manifested itself so strangely, like I’ve had one before and it never started like that. It was the car ride/stress of missing the wake that brought it on. I laid on my bed for a bit, facetimed Brian and was fine when I went to bed.
The next day I woke up early, checked out of Eco and into Royal Grand Hotel, Dad told me he would pay for me to stay at the fancy hotel. I put my stuff in my room, got coffee, and walked to the office. Peace Corps was driving everyone to the funeral together and we were to meet by 9:15am. Everyone showed up in peace corps lappa shirts, request from the family, it was cool to see everyone united like that, like a real family going to support their missing sister. We knew traffic was a bitch the previous day, so we weren’t taking any chances. Service started at 11am. We arrived by 10am, sat down and waited for service to start. Service started by walking the casket down the isle followed by all her immediate family. This was insanely emotional. The entire church erupted in sobbing. I don’t know when as Americans we were taught to hold our cries in or silently cry. I don’t ever remember being taught to do that, but we all do it. Liberians on the other hand do not. Every emotion they are feeling they allow themselves to feel 100% and let it out. Meaning there is no silent crying or silent thoughts, there is only wailing and sobbing. Its heartbreaking. Her grandmother would let out wails every once in a while, you could honestly feel her heart breaking, in turn would make me do that stupid silent crying thing we do. There was a part where her elder son started wailing and throwing himself around. Devastating. Heartbreaking. That’s honestly the only feelings you had while witnessing it. The service as a whole was beautiful. They had: greeting, hymn, refrain, scripture readings, selection from the choir, eulogy, a life sketch, tributes, commendation, minister laying hand on the coffin prayer, a prayer of thanksgiving, family prayer, then they walked her casket back down the isle and her family followed. I’ve never been to a funeral with a full choir, it was honestly really powerful, they sang to your soul, honestly that’s what it felt like, it was moving and powerful. The life sketch they did for her was great, it was amazing to hear all the organizations she helped or was a part of. She truly touched so many lives for the better and I’m proud that I got to know her for the short time I did. The tributes were very emotional. Every organization her or her husband were apart of came up and said something, most organizations would lay a wreath on the casket in respect and then would sit down. Kristi, our country director, spoke for Peace Corps, her speech was beautiful, while she gave her speech we all stood and cried. The most emotional tribute was from her twin sister via her brother in law. Her twin was told not to come to the funeral by the family, apparently in Liberia it is bad luck or something for a twin to go to their twin’s funeral. It’s the idea of seeing/going to your own funeral. Her sister’s husband came up and read the tribute her she wrote. She talked about how a piece of her was gone forever, how Ernlee didn’t need to worry about her husband / boys because she would take care of them, the entire thing was truly moving and sad. Even writing this now remembering all of it I have to do that American thing where I choke back tears a little. The funeral finished, they carried the casket back down the isle and the church erupted in crying again. After the service we had the option to go to the burial site with the family. Knowing myself, I decided it was better for me to just go back to the office. It had been an emotional day and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing the lowering of the casket. We got to the office and a bunch of the volunteers went to Golden Beach for lunch, I opted to stay back with a small group and just order in. It had been an emotional day and I need time to reset myself. After eating I went to the hotel and that’s where I stayed for the rest of the day. The Royal has a gym, so I worked out, took a bath, watched the E network, and facetimed with heather, Brian and my family.
The next day I met Ali and Madeline for breakfast. We saw Max, and he told us that he had just gotten his phone stolen that morning. We asked how, and he said that soon morning he was coming back from the PC office and two guys with a knife came up to him and told him to take his phone out of his pocket and give it to them. Shit is crazy. This is why I hate Monrovia! He didn’t have it out, it wasn’t night, yet still people had the courage to do shit like that. After breakfast I worked out in the gym again, took a shower and by 12pm I checked out. Me, Madeline, Darell, and Mariam got a car and we were off, back to site here I came.
They gave us programs for the funeral and in the program was what looks like a bookmark, on the front says in loving memory, then her picture, Ernlee Bee Barbu (Mukee), May 10, 1984- September 22, 2018. I really liked what the back reads, it reads:
Safely home
All the pain and grief is over every restless tossing passed; I am now at peace forever, safely home in Heaven at last.
I am home in Heaven, dear ones; Oh, so happy and so bright! There is perfect joy and beauty in this everlasting light.
Did you wonder I so calmly trod the valley of the shade? Oh! But Jesus’ love illumined every dark and fearful glade.
And he came in himself to meet me in the way so hard to tread; And with Jesus’ arm to lean on, Could I have one doubt or dread?
Then you must not grieve so sorely, for I love you dearly still: Try to look beyond earth’s shadows, Pray to trust our father’s will.
There is work still waiting for you, so you must not idly stand; Do it now, while life remaineth- you shall rest in Jesus’ land.
When that work is all completed, He will gently call you home; Oh, the rapture of that meeting, Oh, the joy to see you come!